Having it all - when the rules keep changing

I am now officially a blogger. And as I sit down to write my first post, my mind drifts to other tasks that need doing - research story, do washing, write press release, sterilise bottles, read to baby, feed baby, bath-time, play-time, cook dinner, converse with husband, and - maybe - read a few pages of my book.

They say Generation Y (of which I am only just) wants it all. And since emerging from my new-mum cocoon, I thought I was doing pretty well at achieving the common goal. I might not have it all, all of the time - and not as much of all as I'd like - but I did think I was managing to get the balance right.

But after spending several months in a bubble of baby-bliss, I hadn't realised things have changed. The requirements for "having it all" have been upgraded, with a whole new list of must-dos adding to the pressure of getting it right - life that is.

Domesticity is back in vogue, with many young women proud to call themselves a Domestic Goddess. As I note this new buzz word I think to myself, I must be one of these Goddesses. I have chosen to work freelance to be home with my baby, after all. I spend much of the day taking care of said bub, I get the washing done, prepare dinner (order it at the very least), I even bought a Swivel Sweeper.

It turns out I am no such thing. A true Domestic Goddess does more than simply keep the pantry stocked. She grows her own vegetables, bakes cakes from scratch and baby food must be home made - cooked, mashed and divided into tiny containers. She always washes whites separately, labels Tupperware and never resorts to long-life milk.

And when it comes to dinner, thanks to an endless supply of cooking shows, a basic meal just doesn't cut it. It turns out cooking is an art to be enjoyed and savoured. Who knew?

Be it work life, home life, social life or family life - when it comes to having it all, the goal posts keep getting further away - or at least shifting. Yet we keep on running towards them. Why? I asked one of Australia's most well-known balancing acts, Mia Freedman her views on the endless quest to have it all.

On having it all - just not all of the time...

"I could have chosen to continue my corporate career in management but I pressed the eject button two years ago when I left what was then Australia's leading media company, PBL. I ejected for a number of reasons including the fact that I was no longer fulfilled by the constant politics and stress and people management that comprises any management role."

On Gen Y and wanting it all...

"A couple my friends are in their twenties, both ambitious but equally keen on marriage and babies.

"I also think our expectations for happiness are far higher with every generation.

"I know Gen Y look at Gen X and Boomers and think we're a pack of sad losers half the time and wonder why the hell we don't chase our own personal happiness more aggressively. They may be right."

On being a Domestic Goddess...

"When we were kids, it was all about pass-the-parcel and a Mintie hunt. Pin the tail on the donkey. And there was one prize in the pass-the-parcel.

"Now, every time the damn music stops and a layer of paper is unwrapped, there has to be a gift. And it's not Minties anymore, it's Cadbury Favourites with mini Snickers and Picnics and Flakes and then you need to have separate food for the parents who won't leave and expect to be served proper coffee so it's like having two parties and then you have to book a fairy or Spiderman and then lolly bags and it's all just giving me a headache thinking about it".

On changing the rules...

"I believe it's a good thing to have high expectations for happiness. Heaven forbid we convince ourselves that a mediocre existence is all we can aim for.

But is there unhappiness or perhaps stress inherent in all the choices and control (well, compared to our mothers and grandmothers) we have as women today?"

Mia Freedman is a media commentator, author, mum and owner of website Mama Mia