Let's stop sending each other on guilt trips...

Recently in the UK, controversial billboards which read "Career Women Make Bad Mothers" were withdrawn by the Outdoor Advertising Association.

The billboards, which were part of an OAA campaign designed to promote the effectiveness of billboard advertising, unsurprisingly caused an outcry from working mothers.



According to a UK mother's network, working women were left feeling anger, disappointment, even despair.

Feelings undoubtably due to the guilt most mothers are made to feel at some stage in their life - usually by other mothers, and often by those who aren't yet mothers.

The stay-at-home-mum versus working-mother debate has been an issue of contention for some time now, with each group judging the other as somehow inferior.

Stay-at-home mums are not ambitious, working mums are selfish - or so they say.

I am extremely fortunate to be able to work from home, but have learnt the hard way, that motherhood issues are not simply black and white.

I do admit though, to having pre-set opinions and ideas prior to becoming a mum, only to fall victim of the judgement of others after having my son.

I was going to stay home with my baby and I was going to breast feed.

It was the breast feeding idea that didn't quite go to plan. In the end I only breast fed my baby for a short time, before switching to the dreaded bottle.

To address what most are usually thinking at this point - no I did not find it too painful (although it was very much so) and simply give up.

It wasn't all about technique either - the midwives confirmed this - despite the resulting damage.

I did, however, end up with severe and recurring mastitis.

And yes, I am aware that continuing to breast feed is the best way to cure mastitis.

Which is exactly what I did. However in my particular case, continuing to feed and continuous antibiotics did not improve the condition.

It got worse, my son was not getting enough milk and I ended up in hospital - away from my new baby - for days.

And it was on doctor's advice (*gasp) that I gave up breast feeding - with complete agreement from the midwife (*bigger gasp) treating my mastitis.

I was wracked with guilt, despite weeks of intense physical pain.

And I've lost count of the number of women who have informed me, upon hearing my son was being bottle fed, that they had mastitis/pain/difficulties, but they persevered "and it DOES get easier".

They don't know my story - and I don't always share it - but that's just it. We don't know each other's situation so why do we judge?

I choose to stay home with my son, but I don't feel superior to those who work full-time, nor should they feel superior to me.

And these are just two of the many issues we regularly judge each other on.

There's dummies, home-made vs commercial baby food, controlled crying, routine vs demand feeding, childcare, use of babysitters, how long we keep bub in our room - the list goes on.

We're all entitled to an opinion, but that doesn't mean we have to turn up our nose to those who choose a different path.

The majority of mothers are simply doing the best they can, to provide the best lives for their little bundles of joy.

Let's support each other instead of sending each other on never ending guilt trips.

As they say, there isn't a handbook and as long as we're doing our best, that's the best we can do.