Insult to injury for IVF parents...

New legislation has been introduced by the Victorian government, requiring all prospective IVF patients to have criminal background checks to ensure they have no previous history of violent or sexual crimes.

*read story here*

Unsurprisingly, the legislation has outraged parents of babies conceived through IVF and those about to commence the process.

IVF pioneer Professor Gab Kovacs of Monash IVF in Melbourne told IVF.net the checks were "stupid."

"We talk about practising evidence-based medicine, I think it's time that the politicians practiced evidence-based legislation.

"Unless we're going to do this for all couples, and every couple has to have a police check and a child abuse check before they got pregnant, I believe this is very discriminatory against couples with fertility problems," he said.

IVF is a miraculous technology, allowing couples experiencing fertility problems to conceive a child of their own.

While IVF is indeed a blessing, the experience is physically and emotionally draining, offering no guarantees - and far from a quick fix for potential abusers.

Says Sandra Dill, from the group ACCESS, which represents IVF parents and patients: "If the Government was genuinely sincere about protecting or acting in the best interest of children as they've claimed, then they would require every man and every woman to undergo a police check before they take their baby home from hospital."

Blemish free babies...

Much has been said in the media of late about the airbrushed models and celebrities frequenting the covers of women's magazines.

As a result, there's been a backlash of sorts, with many glossies boasting of their current use of unretouched images.

While still gorgeous, expertly lit, perfectly posed and stunningly groomed, this recent trend has been a positive step forward for the representation of...dare I say it... real women.

But while women are speaking loud, their message crystal clear - the airbrushing phenomenon is not limited to we ladies.

Take a look at the cover of any men's lifestyle magazine... I dare say those six-packs have had some assistance, along with the remarkably even skin tone and perhaps a couple of other, shall we say, attributes.

It seems the modern bloke must also live up to a false ideal, comparing themselves to the incredibly sculptured bodies of the new male model.



But perhaps a little more concerning was a comment made by my husband, a graphic designer by trade, as I flicked through a parenting magazine recently.

"That baby has been Photoshopped to within an inch of its life," said horrified husband.

You mean the sparkling blue eyes upon crystal clear whites, the lack of red cheeks and completely blemish free complexion may not be natural?

And here I was thinking these were simply the minimum requirements if bub was going to take out a baby modeling contest.

Is there anything more gorgeous than a baby?

It's become a strange old world if these beautiful little beings require touch-ups to warrant a cover-shot.

Miracle babies even further out of reach...

The day my son was born, was the most magical, beautiful day of my life.

It was also a day I thought may never come.

Like around 10 per cent of Australian couples, my husband and I were faced with the prospect of perhaps never having children.

IVF was our best, and possibly only, chance at achieving a dream we’d had all our lives. And it gave us our beautiful baby boy.

But soon, many couples in a similar situation may not be so lucky.

Laws to cap the Medicare rebate for IVF are due to commence in January 2010, making the possibility of a life with children even more remote for thousands of middle class couples.

Currently, thanks to the Medicare Safety Net, couples are reimbursed 80 per cent of the actual cost of IVF treatment, leaving out of pocket expenses at around $2000 – give or take a few hundred.

And while this cost is often the only one referred to when the issue is discussed in the media, there are many other associated costs, such as on-going specialist fees, hospital fees and anesthetist fees. In my experience, out of pocket expenses were close to $5000.

As it is, this is not a small cost. And when you take into consideration that IVF can take several cycles, costs can quickly add up to tens of thousands of dollars.

With the introduction of these new laws, the rebates would be capped and this potential extra cost could determine whether or not some couples can continue or begin treatment.

IVF is an emotionally and physically draining experience and, for many couples, their only chance to have children of their own.

The feelings of women experiencing IVF have been compared to those suffering from a terminal illness.

Additional costs would place a significant financial strain on families who simply can not afford to pay thousands of dollars multiple times.

Some couples may simply have to forgo the treatment, taking away their only chance of experiencing the magic of children.

IVF is responsible for the birth of more than 10,000 babies in Australia every year - my son being just one of those babies.

He is our little miracle and the prospect of not having had the chance to have him does not bear thinking.

And like many families, IVF will most likely be our only chance to give him a little brother or sister.

But it’s not because I put my career first, left it too late and think the government should pay for the convenience of having children how and when I would like.

I had just turned 27 when I started my first cycle.

Infertility is a medical condition – 40 per cent relates to female issues, 40 per cent male factor and 20 per cent is unexplained.

Fortunately for us, our first cycle was also the only one, but many couples go through up to ten IVF cycles, sometimes more, before achieving a pregnancy.

The government says those whose treatment costs are $6000 or less per cycle should not be affected by these changes.

But in reality, many clinics charge closer to $8000 per cycle, meaning couples could be up to $2000 dollars worse off.

It’s a tough blow to families already dealing with one of the most difficult challenges of their life.

And sad to think this amazing gift will only be available to the wealthy.

Just nod and smile politely...

So it seems what they say about babies choosing the cardboard box over the flashy new toy, is true.

Except in my bub's case, he'd rather play with the bag containing his dirty nappy, or his dirty bib, or something with wires, or anything else I feel too guilty to let him play with.

Since becoming a mum I've found a lot of what they say about babies is true.

They put gooey hands on your face right after you've put your make up on, vomit on your new top and wake up just as you put the kettle on.

I've found that one smile from your baby can make your day, staring in to their eyes can melt your heart and hearing them cry can break it.

It's true that you never tire of watching your baby sleep and you'd give up everything to see them happy.

The cliches don't just apply to babies though...

They say new mums love to talk endlessly about life as a mum, sharing anecdotes that cause anyone other than those who can relate (and even some of them) to nod and smile politely as their mind drifts off to things they actually care about.

It appears that one is true too.

Having it all - when the rules keep changing

I am now officially a blogger. And as I sit down to write my first post, my mind drifts to other tasks that need doing - research story, do washing, write press release, sterilise bottles, read to baby, feed baby, bath-time, play-time, cook dinner, converse with husband, and - maybe - read a few pages of my book.

They say Generation Y (of which I am only just) wants it all. And since emerging from my new-mum cocoon, I thought I was doing pretty well at achieving the common goal. I might not have it all, all of the time - and not as much of all as I'd like - but I did think I was managing to get the balance right.

But after spending several months in a bubble of baby-bliss, I hadn't realised things have changed. The requirements for "having it all" have been upgraded, with a whole new list of must-dos adding to the pressure of getting it right - life that is.

Domesticity is back in vogue, with many young women proud to call themselves a Domestic Goddess. As I note this new buzz word I think to myself, I must be one of these Goddesses. I have chosen to work freelance to be home with my baby, after all. I spend much of the day taking care of said bub, I get the washing done, prepare dinner (order it at the very least), I even bought a Swivel Sweeper.

It turns out I am no such thing. A true Domestic Goddess does more than simply keep the pantry stocked. She grows her own vegetables, bakes cakes from scratch and baby food must be home made - cooked, mashed and divided into tiny containers. She always washes whites separately, labels Tupperware and never resorts to long-life milk.

And when it comes to dinner, thanks to an endless supply of cooking shows, a basic meal just doesn't cut it. It turns out cooking is an art to be enjoyed and savoured. Who knew?

Be it work life, home life, social life or family life - when it comes to having it all, the goal posts keep getting further away - or at least shifting. Yet we keep on running towards them. Why? I asked one of Australia's most well-known balancing acts, Mia Freedman her views on the endless quest to have it all.

On having it all - just not all of the time...

"I could have chosen to continue my corporate career in management but I pressed the eject button two years ago when I left what was then Australia's leading media company, PBL. I ejected for a number of reasons including the fact that I was no longer fulfilled by the constant politics and stress and people management that comprises any management role."

On Gen Y and wanting it all...

"A couple my friends are in their twenties, both ambitious but equally keen on marriage and babies.

"I also think our expectations for happiness are far higher with every generation.

"I know Gen Y look at Gen X and Boomers and think we're a pack of sad losers half the time and wonder why the hell we don't chase our own personal happiness more aggressively. They may be right."

On being a Domestic Goddess...

"When we were kids, it was all about pass-the-parcel and a Mintie hunt. Pin the tail on the donkey. And there was one prize in the pass-the-parcel.

"Now, every time the damn music stops and a layer of paper is unwrapped, there has to be a gift. And it's not Minties anymore, it's Cadbury Favourites with mini Snickers and Picnics and Flakes and then you need to have separate food for the parents who won't leave and expect to be served proper coffee so it's like having two parties and then you have to book a fairy or Spiderman and then lolly bags and it's all just giving me a headache thinking about it".

On changing the rules...

"I believe it's a good thing to have high expectations for happiness. Heaven forbid we convince ourselves that a mediocre existence is all we can aim for.

But is there unhappiness or perhaps stress inherent in all the choices and control (well, compared to our mothers and grandmothers) we have as women today?"

Mia Freedman is a media commentator, author, mum and owner of website Mama Mia